It’s a Marathon—Not a Sprint

Whenever I’m overwhelmed by a big task or project, my career coach often calms me down by stating: “It’s a marathon—not a sprint.” Although I’m not a runner—and I have a personal yogic philosophy opposed to pushing oneself to the limits—this metaphor works wonders for me. I have a good friend who trained for a marathon last year and I observed the daily dedication and discipline it took for her to work towards that goal. She would rotate a shorter run one day with a longer run the next, switching off running with strength training at the gym. And, once in a while, she would give herself some much-needed days off from physical training to rest and recuperate.

Working towards a long-term personal or career goal is no different. Similar to the great advice shared in the LYJ blog post, “One Thing a Day,” it’s helpful to think of our goals as something that require daily action broken into small, do-able steps.  Rotating 15 minutes of work one day with 30 minutes the next and switching between different activities can truly add up to big results. These small accomplishments set the stage for achieving the larger goal. It’s also important to not underestimate the reward of taking a day off for fun and reflection.  After all, it’s not worth sacrificing personal well-being in the process of achieving our dreams.

Introducing Yourself

Introductions are a great opportunity we often waste.

Opportunity: to give a vivid picture of who you are and what you do

Waste: not really communicating what you do and what you have to offer

What exactly do I mean? Here’s an example.

Stranger 1: Hi. I’m Shannon Lee.

Stranger 2: Hi. I’m Doug Forester. What do you do?

1: I’m a lawyer.

2: (Eyes glazed over.) Oh, that’s nice. There seem to be a lot of lawyers here tonight. I’m an engineer.

1: (No idea what Doug does all day) Oh. So, is this the first time you’ve come to this event?

Even though these two people told each other the basics, by resorting to labels, they didn’t communicate anything interesting about themselves and they missed an opportunity to connect on a deeper level or even to just have an interesting conversation. So what should they have done?

Stranger 1: Hi. I’m Shannon. Shannon Lee. (Repeating your first name will help the other person remember it better and will slow you down so that you speak more clearly.)

Stranger 2: Hi. I’m Doug Forester. What do you do?

1: I’m a lawyer. I work with people seeking asylum in the United States. In fact, just today, I learned that a woman from Peru that I’d been working with was granted asylum. Now she’ll be safe from her abusive husband who tried to kill her. (This time Shannon provided a short anecdote to create a picture and gave Doug more info that he can use to continue the conversation.)

2: Wow. That’s intense. How did you get involved in that type of work? (Hopefully they’ll go on to have an interesting conversation, about asylum cases, immigration, Peru or Latin America, domestic violence, politics, local related events, Shannon’s career path or anything else suggested by her anecdote.)

Maybe you’re not saving lives every day like Shannon, but that doesn’t mean your description of what you do for most of your waking hours has to be boring. In fact it shouldn’t be. You can always add an anecdote that will highlight your skills and competency. If you work in an office, tell how you solved a problem and what effect that had on people. If you work directly with people, you must have a million stories about daily interactions. Just remember to keep the focus positive and don’t tell stories that put other people in a negative light.

It can be hard to break out of the mold, when everyone else is doing the my name, my label routine, but it’s worth it.

If You Never Hear No, You’re Not Asking Enough

This is the title of the conclusion of Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want, by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever.

Many women, myself included, experience hearing “no” as negative. It resonated deeply with me that they flipped that upside down and made me look at “no” in a whole new way. In essence, the lack of “no” is now the negative experience, a signal of how women limit themselves by not even asking for the things they want. But they don’t just give you this information and expect it to change your life; no, in the section they call “Negotiation Gym” they set out exercises to stretch your negotiation muscles, including a whole week of getting yourself accustomed to hearing no—without charging it with a negative emotional weight.

The book is filled with information that incites these light bulb moments and has already inspired me to think bigger about asking, negotiating and imagining what I want. There’s also many persuasive statistics and illustrative anecdotes that got my mad up.

Stay tuned for further conversation about this book with the bloggers on LYJ.

Job Offers

Everyone wants job offers but sometimes you get an offer for a position you’re on the fence about. What do you do? This is the situation for one of my LYJ Search students. I found the following passages useful to consider if you find yourself in this fortunate position.

From the book: Interviewing and Salary Negotiation by Kate Wendleton of The Five O’Clock Club

Get a Job Offer

Sincerely intend to turn each interview into a solid job offer. Do your best to make the position and the pay into something acceptable. Make the most of each interview. Negotiate the changes in the job itself. Suggest additional things you can do for the company – jobs often can be upgraded a level or two. Or perhaps the manager could refer you to another area of the company. You should make every effort to turn an interview into a reasonable job offer.

• This is an opportunity to practice your negotiation skills and increase the number of interviews you turn into offers. You can always turn the job down later.

• Getting job offers helps your self-esteem. You can say you received a number of offers, but they didn’t seem right for you. This puts you in a stronger negotiating position.

• Even if you turn down an offer, stay friendly with the hiring manager. This may lead to another offer later that is more appropriate.

• When you get an offer you are not sure about, say that have a few other things you must attend to, but will get back to them in a week. Then contact other companies that were of real interest to you. Tell them you have received an offer but were hoping to work something out with them. They may tell you to take the other offer – or they may consider you more seriously because the other offer makes you more valuable. Sometimes knowing you got another offer is the only thing that will make a company act.

• You may be surprised: Perhaps what you originally found objectionable can be changed to your liking. If you end the process too early, you lose the possibility of changing the situation to suit you. Having a job created especially for you is the best outcome.

Three Exciting LYJ Offerings

LYJ is excited to have 3 events coming up in October and November. Thanks for letting your networks know about these opportunities:

1. Our very first workshop for women attorneys contemplating a change. This one-day workshop on October 25th will be co-led by former attorney and now legal recruiter Jennifer Bird and career coach Suzanne Grossman. Full details are on our new Events and Workshops page.

2. LYJ (Love Your Job) Search heads to DC. Alyssa Best is launching an October class for women jobseekers in the Washington, DC area.  The class begins on October 7th and is filling up fast. The best place for all of the details are on her website: http://www.alyssabest.com/Workshops_and_Events.html

3. LYJ Search NYC classes on the calendar for November. I’m in the middle of a 5-week class with a fantastic group of 8 women jobseekers. The next series has an October 26th early registration deadline and begins on Monday, November 9th. Contact Suzanne Grossman at lyjnow (at) gmail.com to get on the email list or to register.

CakeLove – From Lawyer to Baker

I showed an episode of Roadtrip Nation this week to undergraduates in my career development class including one of my favorites, the interview with Warren Brown, founder of CakeLove bakery in Washington, DC.  I first heard about him in Po Bronson’s book, What Should I Do With My Life? Brown was a dissatisfied public interest lawyer when he was carrying home a cake he had baked on a plate at the airport. As strangers came up to him responding warmly to the cake, he realized that baking cakes could be his path to fulfillment. On the clip he talks about researching the business in a way he never researched his law career. (So glad someone else said this other than me to my students.) He also talks about “staying hungry” every day of your life with your work.

Watching this clip is perfect inspiration for the workshop LYJ is launching on October 25th for women attorneys contemplating a change. We’re going to be collecting other inspiring stories of lawyers who transitioned to careers within or outside the law. If you have any, do send them along.

LYJ Interview

My good friend Dori Saltzman, a writer and editor, interviewed me about my LYJ Search classes for her blog:

http://ginksthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/09/interview-with-founder-of-love-your-job.html

Thanks Dori!

What I’m Reading This Week

Here’s what I read this week that made me think about career choices and finding work you love:

Great interview in the Sunday New York Times Magazine with director Spike Jonze. I liked how he used all of his quirky interests such as skateboarding to create a career path that brings together all sides of himself, including one with a childlike sense of wonder.

Lessons Learned from Julie and Julia by Jennifer Garam of Writeous Chicks. I especially like her thoughts on how the film depicts Julia Child experimenting with different career fields before landing on cooking. I just assumed she knew she was born to be a chef!

Corner Office interview with Alan R. Mulally, president and chief executive of Ford Motor. The Sunday New York Times Business section has some gems including this weekly Q & A with successful people on career lessons learned.

It Happens to Me Too

As most tennis fans know, top seed Roger Federer defeated Tommy Robredo in the fourth round of the U.S. open today to advance to the quarterfinals and move one step closer to a potential sixth consecutive U.S. Open title.

In the post game interview, Federer was asked how he advanced past Robredo, who had won several games in the first set. I don’t remember the exact words he used, but Federer said something that surprised me. He said that at the beginning of a match, before he gets out on the court and especially after a bad practice, he sometimes questions himself, his abilities and even wonders whether he still knows how to play the game.

He then went on to say that, in this game, once he started to play, loosened up a bit and got to know the quirks of his opponent, he found that not only did he remember how to play, he played great.

I’m sure Federer was being overly-humble in the afterglow of his decisive win. But on some level it’s comforting to know that the number one seed in men’s tennis today, the man who has won the past five U.S. opens and who is arguably one of the greatest men’s tennis players of all time, sometimes wonders whether he still remembers how to play the game.

As the summer comes to an end and the new season begins – a season that has been ingrained in our collective memory as time to go back to school, aka “back to work” – some of us may be wondering “do I remember how to play the game?” The answer: Sure you do. Just relax and let the game come to you. And so you know you’re not alone, remember Federer’s words: “It happens to me too.”

Wednesday TeleClass – The 6 Secrets to Completing Your DREAM Project

I am a big fan of Joanna Lindenbaum, owner of Soulful Coaching for Busy Women, who is leading this free teleclass on Wednesday. Details below:

Your Soulful Coaching Call to Action!

If you are ready to take your projects and your life to the next level, join me for my complimentary teleclass, The 6 Secrets to Completing Your DREAM Project…and Still Have Time for Your Life! on September 9th at 12pm EST.

Having a great idea is NOT enough to successfully and joyfully complete your goals. The mistake that so many visionaries make is that you haven’t developed the powerful and sustaining structures needed – both on internal and external levels – to be able to fully achieve you dream project while also feeling energized and balanced in your life.

Aren’t you ready to put this mistake behind you once and for all?

On September 9th, for the first time ever, I’ll be sharing with you my secrets and methods for seeing your vision into reality WITHOUT the exhaustion or anxiety. Join me in this FREE and interactive teleclass:

“The 6 Secrets to Completing Your DREAM Project and Still Having Time for Your Life”

On this teleclass, you will receive:

• A straightforward method for effective and intuitive decision making

• A fresh look at how prioritizing can ensure your success

• A plan for organizing your time so that you control your life and your dream project (instead of it controlling you!)

• The secret to ensuring you are energized and excited throughout the completion of your project

By the end of our class, you will have clear ideas for creating more time and energy for your goals and for your life. It IS possible to follow through on your dream project, be successful, and still have time to enjoy ALL of your life, and I am so excited to guide you through it!

If you’d like to register for this class, just send me an email at Joanna@soulfulcoach.com and title it Teleclass. I get you all set up and send you the call-in info!